Happy Birthday Arnold!

To start off Happy Birthday Arnold!!

 

 

I don't have a lot of newness to report today. It was a fairly lazy weekend. Tyler had to work all day Saturday in Omaha. After I got the house work done, this is something I hate but am becoming a little more anal about since our remodel, Trent and I went to Des Moines and saw Turbo at the Jordan Creek Cinema. I love that theater! The seats are super comfy! I did manage to stay completely away from any treats at the theater. Trent had ice cream. I let him splurge. He has been on a dairy free diet for about 2 1/2 weeks for his chronic runny/stuffy nose and it has worked! I am at the point with his ears and sinus's that I am willing to try anything rather than putting him through surgery AGAIN! He's only 6 and has had surgery 4 times with still having troubles and has lost partial hearing in his left ear. It is time to go back to the ENT but I have been holding off to see if our check ups at the chiropractor are healing his ears. And quite frankly he likes Dr Josh much better than the ENT. But anyway after the ice cream it was only a couple of hours and his faucet on his face started flowing and breathing was heavier. I guess dairy free will be something we are going to adjust to in our house for the long haul. After the movie I went to Bed Bath and Beyond to try and find a shower curtain and trash can for our bathroom. It's been all summer the inside of our house is essentially done and I have not bought ANY decorations. I did find what I liked at Bed Bath and Beyond but it was $100 for a shower curtain, hooks and trash can, I couldn't justify it! I put it all back and left with a vase and flowers to set on the counter. We went to Target for a back pack and I looked at shower curtains there too, NOTHING!! After the Target crowd, I was done. I swear kids and mom's school supply shopping is enough to put me over the edge. I really wanted to go to Kohl's but Trent and I had enough of shopping together. It was about to get ugly! We came home. I stopped by the Dollar General to pick up a couple things and thought I would just see what they had for shower curtains. By God of all places that is where I ended up getting my shower curtains, hooks and 3 rugs!

Sunday we didn't do a lot either. Hung out at home, Tyler went fishing and then we had a fish fry at the neighbors. I love the fish and we had fried potatoes. WAY TO MUCH GREASE! My tummy was hurting.

I started following a new plan. It is eating a lot like I always have, protein, veggies and a few carbs but it is more accurate timing of the correct foods. Chris Powell's 7 day carb cycling. I am down 4 pounds in 3 days, so I am anxious to see what a full week brings!




I decided yesterday that I was going to run, no if's and's or but's, I was doing it. I packed my workout clothes in my work bag, changed at work so I had no excuse to stop at home and when I got into town parked my car at the store and off I went. Honestly, I was scared to death. I haven't run more than once a month for probably 6-8 months. My biggest fear is always that dirty "f" word...FAILURE! What if it was hard, what if I couldn't make it as far as I thought I should, what if I have to walk, what if, what if, what if. Well what if you never lace up your shoes again? What if you never get out there and make an attempt? What if it isn't that hard? You'll never know if you don't just go do it! And Warrior Dash is less than a month away and it is not going to run itself! I set out and did 2 fairly slow miles, 11:30 minute miles. But I ran the entire thing and it wasn't that hard. So I am setting out tomorrow to do 3 miles. It's time to get back into the routine. I hate putting on my shoes to go run, I get butterflies in my stomach, but I love the feeling after I accomplish a good run!

I have laid off the biking a little the last week. My right pinky and ring finger are still numb from last Wednesday. DAMN CARPAL TUNNEL!!! I am going to have to make some adjustments before I add any more miles.

Totally over slept this morning so I will be going to Fabulous Fit Boxing tonight and taking Trent along. I will have to be sure and find him something to do. Well it is a high carb day and I can absolutely tell the difference in how I feel. I know tonight will be a kick ass workout! I have that much energy today!

 

I am getting a little windy so I'll finish up. Here is a picture I found from 5 years ago. It was 6 months before I started this journey. My how time changes things!!! 2013/2008

 

This week's goals:

5 days kickboxing

Stay on plan on low carb days

Keep cheat meal down to 1 meal

Run 10 miles

Current Weight: 209

Next week goal: 203(Yes this is a stretch, but I will do it!)

Plan smart for my birthday! (I will be 30 on August 11) I am struggling with this idea, NO LONGER IN THE 20's?????

Persistance

Wow have I been MIA! I have however been enjoying myself! Lots of time out with friends and family the last two weeks. It wasn't good for the scale but it was good for my soul!

So what have I been up to?? Last weekend was the 2013 Bar-2-Barbra. If you ever want to get involved in a fundraiser event this is the one. It is a 10k bike ride, run or walk and this year a golf tournament was added. There is something for all levels. As well as the physical event there is a dare show. You can dare someone to do something silly for a dollar amount. All proceeds go towards Huntington's disease research. Sarah is the woman who started this event. She made a promise to her mother after she passed away from Huntington's disease if she did not carry the gene she would do what she could to make a difference. This is how the event all began! here is a link to the Facebook page, check it out and join us next year! Bar-2-Barbra My dare was to race with Roger and Chance to see who could finish their jalapenos and coke first. I won!

There has been more alcohol consumed by me in the last two weeks than I usually drink in a year! And yes it has caught up to me! I was up just over 10 pounds in two weeks. But I am back on track and it is falling off again.

This is short and sweet today, I have a meeting to get to but persistence is what will get you where you need to go. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and continue pushing through! YOU WILL GET THIS!

 Keep making small efforts and all the obstacle's in your way will suddenly become part of the journey!

Breathe

I have been on a blogging hiatus this last week. I apologize now for that. It has been really busy since July 3rd. This is really not much of a fitness related blog, I have all this stuff I want to talk about so it is probably going to come out mush, blended together and not make any sense, lol. 

This last week has involved a LOT of alcohol! Not something I do frequently but I managed to see the sunrise twice in 4 days!! I have had enough of late nights for awhile! Although it was a TON of fun and I have found I love being around people that are perfectly happy with me being me!! And of course I am paying for it. I gained 9 pounds from alcohol this last week and so now I am working to get rid of that. I am scale stalking and down 4 pounds in 3 days. Next week I will have better scale news!

I want to share a song that can bring me down when I am stressed or can do the opposite and pump me up when I need a lift! I love this song and the lyrics are amazing.

2 AM (Breathe) Anna Nalick

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdRHSuPxgXo Here is the you tube link if you want to listen!

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you'd only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

No matter what aspect of life you are struggling with we must be reminded that life only moves forward. We can not go back and change the past but the future is in our hands and you can make of it whatever you want if you just make the plan, put forth the effort and just breathe through the tough spots. We are all people and we all have a story that many people haven't even taken the time to understand. There are always going to be nay sayers, haters and pessimists but you just let them go living in their pitifulness and open your ears and hearts to those that are positive and supportive. There are so many people in this world. Why do you have to surround yourself with the negative ones? Really, WHY??? YOU DON'T!! Move on make yourself happy!! Make the most of yourself! You have more potential than you will ever know you have if you don't push the limits!

 

Easier said than done you say??? Really?? Do we need to sit down and have a heart to heart?? Do I need to remind you where I come from? Not my weight, that is not what I am talking about. If  you truly are thinking to yourself right now that I am crazy and you can't do this and you can't do that, then I think you need to message me and we'll have a talk! 

 

Happy Hump Day!!

Stress

I usually post when everything is all rainbows and butterflies, well this week that has not been the case. Hence my blog hiatus recently. I am not a person that stresses about much. It takes a LOT to get me stirred up. A LOT! This hasn't always been me. I used to stress over everything and it ate me alive!! This week it seems as though nothing is going the way it should be! Everything is making me cry and TOM is not even near so it's not hormonal. Just plain old stress of life.

My car has been making a funny noise so we took it to the dealership on Tuesday and I should have it back today, along with a nearly $2000 bill!!!! AAAAAHHHHH SHIT!  $2000 freaking dollars! I lost it, a few times over this!!

Evedn through this I managed to maintain good eating habits on Tuesday. Wednesday I did good all day! Wednesday weigh in showed 205.4, so that was a 1.6 pound loss from last week. Except after I weighed last week I thought I would give myself a treat and it turned into a 2 day binge! I was up nearly 5 pounds. I managed to lose that along with the additional 1.6, so I was happy with that. This Wednesday was not as bad with the eating but I did do it again. I let the stress of the car win! It was stupid! And a true binge, I sat in the dark and cried over what I had done with overwhelming guilt after I regained control. So now I am again playing catch up to work off the damage the binge did. Again yesterday I was pretty stressed. When I am stressed, if I don't eat it away I am very quiet. So last night was a good night for quietness. After supper we sat down and watched Pitch Perfect. It was a great movie. I laughed and laughed!! Even Tyler liked it! I was up until almost midnight, so I did not hear my alarm at all at 4:15 this morning, I missed kick boxing. With a big goal of seeing 199.9 by Wednesday it was a bad week to miss class so I MUST make myself run this afternoon and Saturday and Sunday. My struggle this weekend will be to stay away from the beer!! All I want is a campfire and a case of miller light!! This will not help me get to my goals!

I have also found myself missing the past this weekend. I don't know what has happened to some people and then I wonder where the heck my friends are? I have decided that girls and I don't mesh well. That's ok. I will not let others bring me down. I am just me and if you don't like it that is your choice and that is ok. There are others that will.

So in the short this will need to be a focused weekend. I will need to keep myself busy and stay away from the fridge! I want this goal before the 4th of July, it is something I have never seen before in my journey! I probably haven't been under 200 since jr high!!!

So to you and I have a great weekend!

Before and after

NO MATTER WHERE YOUR AT...

NO MATTER WHERE YOUR GOING...

I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU...

YOU'VE GOT THIS!!!!!!!!

 

Wednesday weigh in

It's weigh in Wednesday for me. I just started this last week again and my goal was to lose 4 pounds.

Kickboxing has been brutal the last few days. I AM SORE!! To top it off I can not get my husband to shut down at night and we work on this and work on that, sit out side to talk and someone stops by, or he just keeps talking!!! It has been after 11 when I have gotten to bed all week!! Yesterday I woke up with a sore throat so I decided to go back to bed and went to kickboxing last night and this morning I woke up just plain ass tired. I went back to bed and then over slept for work!!! Tonight I am going to make it a point to get to bed at a decent time!!!!

So I don't have a lot to say today. I have been in meetings and now am going back to work and have to get caught up for the time I have been gone

Here are the results.

 

It's dark and upside down but I can't figure out how to turn it around!!

 

 

Last week 210

This week 207

Weight Change -3

 

 

I did fairly well most of the week but I know I could have done with out the zebra cakes and nutty bars. Honestly, they don't taste as good as they used too. And TMI alert....Lovely T.O.M. showed up so I am pleased with the 3 pound loss.

 

Next week I am aiming for 4 pounds and 4 kickboxing classes

 

g classes.

I will fight for it...wrong side of weight loss

I have been talking and watching a couple people, myself included, really struggling the last few months. Myself, the last 2 years. I remembered this blog I read a while back and wanted to share it. It helped me and I hope that it is going to help you to if or when your struggling. Everyone always says weight loss is something that doesn't happen over night. We ALL know that, however we still expect to see big numbers fall off the scale every week. We know the work we put in and expect to see that in a number. It is so much more than a number. It is a science that when we think we have just figured it out then it doesn't make sense again. The only thing there is to do is keep going. Keep plugging along. Keep eating right and exercising. Most importantly keep reminding yourself why you are doing this and why you don't want to stop.

I wish I could edit this but I'm not good with photos. This is why I won't stop! That girl on the left....I don't know her anymore and I don't want to know her ever again!

Being on the wrong side of weight loss... this link will take you to her blog as well.

Being on the wrong side of weight loss

There’s a problem when your goal is to lose weight, but instead you keep packing on the weight. So how does this happen? It happens the same way that everything else falls apart—you get careless.
At first it’s subtle. A pound or two. And that’s easy to lose. The problem is, with each pound or two you gain you think, it’s just a pound or two, I can get that off in no time. I’ll just run a little harder. I’ll watch my calories a little stricter. I’ll drink more water. No worries.
And pretty soon, you’ve gained 10 lbs., 20 lbs., 30 lbs., or maybe you’ve gained all of your weight back. You know what’s happening all along yet too many lbs. down the road you wake up one day and think, where did all of this weight come from? How did this happen? How could I LET this happen?
But yet you still just see a pound or two creep up on the scale. The number gets closer and closer to your pre-weight loss weight. Somehow you keep thinking that you’re not going to be able to stop until you get to that weight again, maybe more. It’s horrifying, but you know it’s possible. It’s almost like subconsciously you want to be fat even though you hate everything about being fat.
You hate the way that you feel like a monster when you walk. Like your legs are tree trunks and your feet are cement bricks that shake the floor with each breathless step. You try to cover your rolls of flesh with dark colors and excess fabric. But it doesn’t make it go away. It’s still there, haunting you, yet tempting you to keep doing this to yourself.
Is it some kind of punishment that your subconscious is inflicting upon your poor excuse for a body? The little voice in your head telling you that you don’t deserve to be happy. That where you belong is in a corner with your head down in shame. It points an ugly crooked finger at you and tells you you’re not good enough. And you crumple to the ground in defeat and helplessness. And the voice cackles an evil laugh at your tears of misery.
And so, like death, the fat slowly takes over your body. It attaches itself to the clavicles you so happily discovered on the other side of weight gain. It smothers the shape that had started to show in your arms. It rounds your  face and drowns your cheekbones. Your eyes begin to sink along with your smile.
But there’s a flicker of life somewhere in your eyes. You don’t see it when you look in the mirror anymore, but once in a while you can feel the warmth of the flame that used to fuel your strength. Sometimes you think it’s gone when the ugly  face of obesity shadows over you. But in those moments when you stand up tall and proud and scream into its shameful face that you won’t back down, you start to see a little flicker of a flame.
And so you kick and you scream. You stand up and shove it to the ground. It raises its ugly finger at you again and you begin to doubt yourself. Am I destined to be fat? Will I ever be good enough? Is it possible for me to prove to myself, if not only TO myself, but FOR myself?
A part of you wants to hope that it’s possible to come out of this battle alive. But a part of you just wants to lay down and die, succumbing yourself to its terribleness because you don’t know any other way and you’re not sure you’d know how to live any other way.
It’s really up to you choose. You’ve found yourself on the wrong side of weight loss, and you have a choice. You can choose life, or you can choose to let obesity control and destroy every single moment of your life—until eventually it takes it from you.

So I ask you...have you found yourself saying it is just a pound or two, an then the next week its just one pound, ect? I admit it. I did. I did for a long time. Two years to be exact. I gained back 20 pounds and now have nearly lost all of that again. When I weigh in tomorrow I hope to be back at the lowest weight I have yet to achieve. But if I am not there, it is only my fault, no one else's. I make the choices to exercise or not, I make the choices on what to put in my mouth or not. I, I, I, ME, ME, ME. Its all me, just as it is all  you. A couple months ago I even found myself back in the same mental state that I was in the very beginning. Looking for  an easy way out. A pill, a shake, a supplement, meal replacements, a trainer to tell me what to do. WHY??? I know what to do. I am 136 pounds lighter than I used to be and it wasn't just luck that got me there, it wasn't just water weight, I ws doing something right. And all along when I was thinking I just can't do it, it just isn't working any more, the meal plans I have made and the food I chose just aren't cutting it any more...they were just excuses. Excuses to try and make myself feel better about not giving it 100%, honestly probably not even 50%.

So I challenge you to do the same thing I am doing. Set small goals and tell someone about them. This holds you accountable. And don't just tell anyone, tell someone you are afraid to let down. Way back in the very beginning of this journey I told my mother in law my goals. I would have been embarrassed to not follow through, so whenever I thought about not doing what I was supposed to I thought "What am I going to tell Chris when she asks how my work out was or how my weigh in went??" This usually made me do what I wasn't wanting to do.


My goals 4 pound weight loss tomorrow(206 pounds)
                 3 pound weight loss next Wednesday June 26
                 under 200 by July 3
                 Kick boxing 4 days per week
                 one run on the weekend
                 Clean food choices