What a busy weekend. My body hurts so bad everywhere! My hips and knees are killing me! BUT all the destruction of my house is done for now. Until we put in the new furnace and at that point we will have to tear out the ceiling in the basement which means we have to move our stuff out of the basement and the upstairs is not move in ready. Ugg. I am thinking about a mini vaca while the guys do that. They think it will take them about 4 days to tear out the duct work and put in new along with the new furnace. I think it sounds like a good time for Trent and I to pack up and head to Michigan to visit my mom. I haven't been out there for nearly 2 years!
Coming into the weekend I had done really well with my meals and food choices. All I wanted Saturday night was a dam Cadbury egg. I did go to Casey's and they did not have any!! So I ate all kinds of other crap. And the same thing happened Sunday. This night time eating is killing my success lately. I go down a couple pounds and then back up a couple more. It is a stupid vicious circle right now. I do a lot of thinking about myself. That sounds a little selfish I know but I am always analyzing what I have done and how it makes me feel or act. I have come to the conclusion that the change hasn't happened yet. I have made a LOT of changes to myself in the last 4 years but I have found I still don't have that inner strength to do this on my own. I have always been a motivator to others and I am always trying to get people to join me in my fitness excursions. But when it comes down to myself without everyone else, I won't and don't do it. What does it take to get back there? Because I once did have that. When I felt my strongest, not physically but mentally and emotionally was when I was doing distance running. It was a confidence built from within that maybe I could do this! As I am dreading it right now because running is not easy, it is time to start training again. I must get out on the pavement. I will continue to drag with me whoever will go because if that is what it takes to get back to where I was then that is what it takes.
I talked with one of my most successful former training clients this morning and we are going to try to start meeting again. Even if it is once a week we could both use the time together. We have both been through so much and many very similar things that we work well together and we feed off each other. Time to move forward. I have big goals this week and am resorting back to checking in with her every other day to keep on track until I get my grove back. The one thing I am sure of over the last few years that I have learned is nothing works for everyone. Every day we are constantly evolving and changing. The key is learning from yourself and finding what works for you. Well I have found what doesn't work so it is time to try something else. Trial and error. It is not failure until you stop trying.
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