I am tired...

I am tired. I am tired of working on our house. I am tired of being stressed all the time about having to get this done and having to get that done. I am tired of not having enough time in the day to do all I need to do. I am tired of having a relationship with my family that consists of "hi honey, how was your day? Oh that's great now lets get this room painted, we have to put this tile here, we have to clean this spot so we can move these things there so we can put this up, go sand this, need to stain that oh did I mention I am out of clean clothes when are you going to do laundry?: And it goes on and on!I am tired. Maybe because I don't have enough time in the day to get everything done and I spend later in the evening trying to get it done when I should be going to bed. I am a creature of habit. and this creature needs sleep!!! 7 hours is ideal! 4-6 hours is kicking my ass! I have felt like poo all week! You would think one would have caught up over the holiday weekend but all we did was work! We did go order our new furniture but aside from that couple hours it was work, work, work!

Among all the time I was working on things this weekend I did a lot of thinking. I do that a lot any more. Thinking about my goals and where I am at in relation to them. Before I start, Yes I feel the scale is important. With that being said. I do want the number to go down but does it matter what that number says if you look good??? Really? If you like how you look and your healthy and happy then what does that number have to do with anything?? So I am changing focus. Yes I will still weigh daily because I am an addict. I have a scale addiction. I am however turning my focus to performing the actions it takes to get the look I am trying to achieve. What does this mean??? Well I have a 5k Saturday morning and I will begin this new routine on Sunday. I have arranged for Grandma time for Trenton a couple times a week so I can get in a short run. By short I mean 2-4 miles and then a strength training routine. I have spent time learning and following some trainers, fitness models and body builders. I have learned from them and put together my own strength routine. Ideally I will follow this routine at least through the summer and see what happens. How will I judge my success?? Through pictures. If the picture is changing then I am changing which means it is working! So we shall see, however; I do have some positive vibes about this!!

I have looked a lot at my food choices for the last couple of years. Binges aside I eat a very low carb diet. These are my trigger foods so I tend to stay away. However; I am a raging, hormonal, unhappy, snappy, crabby bitch! This is like a body builder on steroids attitude. IT MUST GO! This does not mean it is a free for all. I am learning how to introduce healthy carbs again in moderation. I love things like sweet potatoes and squash that are good for you foods and will get my carbs that way and not in white potatoes and pasta. I do have a more detailed plan than this but I am not going to type it all out. If your interested you will ask.

Any way I better get moving. I have a lot of work to accomplish today before I run out of day! Have a magnificent day and remember "You've got this"

Cassie

5 miles to clarity

Wow LONG TIME NO BLOG!!! I have been suppppper swamped at work and have found no time to spit out a blog. It's funny how life happens sometimes but that is where we just have to learn to make the lifestyle we want fit in the life we have. It can be done! There are always things in the way we just have to find a way to work around them.

You have to do it yourself!

 I have started running more again. I forgot how hard running can be. When you become a regular runner and are conditioned you forget how hard it really is and when you add distance it is just another mile. I did not run much all winter and am TRYING to get back into a routine. I have been out for a couple 2-3 milers the last few weeks and then Monday one of my former training clients wanted to get to her furthest run. The longest before was 4.7 and she wanted to make it to 5 miles. Oh I just knew I was going to die but I was up to give it a shot. Already having sore glutes and hamstrings from kickboxing that morning I was in for a beating. My comment to her after we finished was..."I hated you at mile 2 and 3 and 4 and 4.5 and 4.7 but we made it to 5. I will hate you even more in the morning but don't take it personally, the feelings will pass, lol. Thanks for the push." I really was ready to walk at mile 2, but I couldn't quit yet. Mile 3 really struggling but knew my second wind would be coming, keep pushing. Mile 3.2 I get a text that my grandma was admitted to the hospital with chest pain. Heart sunk, I wanted to quit NOW. I needed to find out what was going on!!! Maybe it was selfish of me but what came out of my mouth when it opened was "We have to finish this!" With several pauses to catch a breath in between words I explained to Taycey what I just read on my phone. With tears of fear, tears of courage, tears of confidence, tears of worry, tears of the unknown I finished that 5 miles. It was not easy. It was down right torture. But why do I do this? Yes, it's to lose weight and become a more fit person but what does that do???? What that does is ensure I am here just a little bit longer with my family. It increases the chances that I will not suffer from high blood pressure. It increases the chances that I will not suffer from high cholesterol. It increases the chances I won't have a stroke, I won't have a heart attack, I won't be diabetic, I won't have apnea, I won't lose the feeling in my legs, better yet I won't lose a leg. I am not saying that any of this can not happen anyway but I am going to do my damndest to ensure that I have done everything in my power to not contribute to these things. So that I can spend my life the highest quality and with those that I love and care about for as long as I have.  Yes a person is predisposed to certain things because of genetics, however all those genetics that have been passed down are often the lifestyle that caused them. I refuse to be able to let a Dr tell me that something is wrong with me and it is my fault!



What I looked like when she said 5 miles!!! LMAO!!

Next week I have to weigh in for the diet bet that I joined on line. I honestly have no idea where I am at. The batterey in my scale is on the fritz and it gave me several different readings ranging within 7 pounds. I'll just have to stay off until I get a new battery. I am really focusing on not eating a late supper. That always kills my results. I love when I can go to bed and my stomach is starting to get a little hungry. I get a big drink of water and to bed I go, knowing my body is doing it's thing and I am not inhibiting its process with food.

JUST A YUMMY!!

A look back at blog #1

So I was revisiting some old blogs today and I want to share them with you again. It was a good reminder for me. Well Hello! You must be just as bored as I was when I wrote this blog if you are now reading it,lol. Ok just kidding,but not really because that is how this blog idea was started, I...get...bored. So with a little encouragement I have decided to blog. About what?? Well health,fitness,my weight loss,the dumb cotton wood tree in the back yard that covers my yard in white fuzz every spring,exercise,my family,what EVER it is that I feel I need to talk about on a given day. On a more serious note I am also using this as an accountability tool to finish a journey I started in January of 2009. At that time I was 346 pounnds and very unhealth. I decided I needed to make a change,not like I hadn't ever made this attempt before but for some reason I was actually going somewhere with it this time. With strictly diet,exercise and learning about food and my body I began to lose weight. I was down a total of 140 pounds (206) in October of 2011,I maintained this for some time and then for the 3rd time I quit smoking and gained back 20 pounds. Currently yes I am at 226 with the desire to be at 170 before Christmas. So it is time to finish what I started and help others along the way. Yes sometimes I can be a little blunt,a little offensive,a little too loud and even a little quiet but I will promise you this...I will be honest,I will give 100% and I will do my best to help ANYONE that has the courage to reach out and ask. So wiggle yourself into the sports bra (the tighter it is the tighter it holds them puppies),no I'm not really southeren and I know that was bad grammer but it sounded like the right thing to say,pull up the spandex(again the tighter it is the better job it does at keeping the thighs from clapping and the obscene farting noises that sneak out from your flopping belly,no your not the only one that this happens to and yes I know from experience,if you see me working out it is in my tight pants and I sure as heck don't look like J-lo from the back side...yet;) and lace up those sneakers! Tomorrow is a new day and I have nailed diet and exercise this week,My goal for tomorrow is to maintain that,one day at a time 1500-1700 calories and 60 minutes of sweat!