Today has been one of those days!! A struggle all day. Some how I have managed to stay on track. The foot is on the mend I believe. It is hurting less and less. Still not able to run but I have gotten on the spin bike at the gym the last couple of days.  It is a good change from the norm. However I am due for a good run!
As I said it has taken a lot to get through the day. My emotions have been a roller coaster. Bored. Lonely. Bored. Bored. Quietness. Lonely. All my usual excuses to eat. But I found other ways around the little devil on my shoulder saying "Go ahead! Just one won't hurt...Go on..Go to Casey's and get you a snack...you know you want a chocolate peanut butter shake...oh some chocolate covered peanuts would top off that supper great..." BLAH BLAH BLAH! This is what I hear daily! Someday I am going to find a halo to put over that little devils head and it'll never know what hit it! Or at least an ear plug for that ear.

As I kept hearing those things run through my head today I reminded myself what having just one would do. Back to that bowl of cocaine again, just one would turn into everything I could get my hands on, several thousand calories and another week of disappointment on the scale. I am tired of disappointment, I am tired of only being half way to my goal. I am the only one that can fix that. Me myself, I that's it. I can not rely on anyone else and I can not blame anyone else. This is me owning my behavior. You can exercise all you want but you can't out exercise a bad diet. It doesn't work. I've tried it. I have spent countless hours at the gym, running down the highway, doing dvd's in my living room over the last year. Because of the bad diet, my time exercising has only allowed me to stay in shape but not lose weight.

Because of the mood I was in and because I have learned what my mind and body do I made a low calorie supper tonight that I could eat a lot of. I am on a zucchini kick here lately. I diced 2 zucchini, spread on a cookie sheet, sprayed with spray butter(I use spray butter on everything, I love butter!) and sprinkled with Mrs Dash, baked an hour or so at 425*, then sprinkled with parmasean cheese before I ate it. And yes I ate a 4oz pork chop and 2 whole zucchinis for supper!

Now its time for bed and I can mark off one more successful day, no "cocaine", no little devils winning over me and a little less flab when I wake up in the morning.